Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person causes another to doubt their own perceptions, memories, or sanity. It’s often subtle, insidious, and deeply damaging, making it a favourite tool of emotional abusers in relationships, workplaces, or even larger societal contexts.
How Gaslighting Works
Gaslighting operates by distorting reality in ways that erode the victim's confidence in their own judgment. Key tactics include:
Denying Facts: The abuser insists something didn’t happen, even when it did.
Example: “That never happened—you’re imagining things.”
Twisting Reality: They reinterpret events to suit their narrative.
Example: “You’re overreacting; it wasn’t that bad.”
Shifting Blame: Making the victim feel responsible for the abuser’s actions.
Example: “If you weren’t so sensitive, I wouldn’t have to yell.”
Signs You’re Being Gaslit
Gaslighting can be hard to spot, but common signs include:
Self-Doubt: Constantly second-guessing your memories or decisions.
Confusion: Feeling like you’re losing a grip on reality.
Excessive Apologising: Assuming you’re always at fault.
Isolation: The abuser may distance you from others who could validate your reality.
Why People Gaslight
The motives behind gaslighting often stem from a need for power and control. Abusers use it to:
Maintain dominance in relationships.
Avoid accountability for their behaviour.
Manipulate others into complying with their wishes.
How to Break Free
Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, it probably is.
Seek Validation: Talk to trusted friends or a therapist to confirm your experiences.
Set Boundaries: Limit your interactions with the gaslighter.
Exit the Relationship: In severe cases, cutting ties may be the only solution.
Conclusion
Gaslighting is a toxic behaviour that undermines self-trust and emotional well-being. Recognising the signs and reclaiming your sense of reality are essential first steps in overcoming its effects. Remember: the problem isn’t your perception—it’s their manipulation.
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